As the movie previews began and the reminder to turn your cell phone off came on, I was reminded to check my cell phone for any life-threatening emergencies. It seems obvious that in a movie titled "Moms' Night Out," they should just change the commercial to say "okay, go ahead and check your phone one more time before putting it on vibrate and keeping it in your pocket so that you can be nervous the whole movie long about that jolting vibration summoning you home immediately!"
The movie was apropos and much needed at this point (or any point I am sure) in Mommyhood. My friend, who has four kids, and I just sat there nodding and laughing as we watched a mockery of our lives unfold on screen. This was truly a case of art imitating life, and laughter is the best medicine!
I was surprised at how many moms feel the way that I do. Loving their vocation, but also questioning it regularly, asking themselves if they are happy or fit to do the job they have signed up for. I particularly just had a moment last week, when I told my husband that I didn't want to celebrate Mother's Day. A rough week left me feeling like I wasn't doing a very good job at the whole mommy thing anyway, and didn't think I should be celebrated. I was shocked to hear that same conversation play out in the movie between the main character, Ally, and her husband. Surprisingly, I felt better, and validated rather than "psycho" (another word to describe some of Ally's mommy outbursts.)
Okay, so maybe my house isn't the only zoo in town after all. Maybe there are other "good moms" out there questioning where they went wrong. Re-painting walls, pulling things out toilets, cleaning up, cleaning up, cleaning up. Maybe there are other mom's out there holding onto their favorite flashy high heel shoes, just to admire (without seeing their impractical nature) and reminisce about a time when they actually had somewhere to wear them (and remembered how to without breaking an appendage.)
Despite being labeled "anti-feminist" by the media reviews, Moms' Night Out has a 86% positive rating on the social media website, Rotten Tomatoes. It is really impossible to explain the stay-at-home mom 'thing' to those who don't get it. For instance, one critic's response to the movie was, "Mainly, you have to wonder why Allyson doesn't just hire a nanny, find a job and get out of the house." Do I ever feel this way? Yes, at least several times a week. Do I do it? No. Why? I don't know. Maybe because at the end of the day it is truly "all worth it," and I know that I will miss it when it's gone. Maybe because it is hard in the moment, as I am living it, but I am so thankful each night as I reflect and laugh at the day.
Produced by Jon and Andy Erwin, a team of brothers who focus on unique stories of hope and redemption, Moms' Night Out is the second success the duo has had teaming up with Provident Films, after their release of October Baby in 2010. Sean Astin, Sarah Drew, Patricia Heaton, and Trace Adkins bring a competitive "A" film quality to the Erwin's latest project. Moms' Night Out also features Alex Kendrick, the directer of Sherwood Pictures films, Flywheel, Facing The Giants, Fireproof, and Courageous. As budget has increased for these projects, so has professionalism, writing and acting quality, and networking and distribution. Moms' Night Out is their best combined effort so far, and a tribute to the Christian community in film, as well as stay-at-home mom's everywhere!
If you haven't seen it, mostly because you are teaching, taxiing, cooking, pulling things out of toilets, and just don't have the time...make time. This ones for you:
that movie had both me and my husband laughing hysterically and at times, crying... I HAVE tried to "get out of the house", so sure that I really WAS a failure and that daycare/school teachers were better models and disciplinarians than I was.... Like Ally, I, too, always wanted to be a mom.... and still wonder every day why I'm not "happy" doing it.... how do I NOT find satisfaction and affirmation in my "dream" job? Why not? Because no one can prepare you for the reality of the monotony, the constant fighting, the constant, unending cleaning, the never being satisfied with decisions you made in the moment and wondering as you fell asleep every night "WHY did I want to do this?!"..... and truthfully, I don't ALWAYS think "it'll be worth it" -- what I have to do is CHOOSE to believe it will be worth it... because when I've broken up the UMPTEENTH fight for the day, or cleaned up poo from someones body (not always just the butt), or wrapped someone in towels to catch the vomit, or found the millionth lost toy, and attempted to do the laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, scrubbing toilets, dusting, picking up, etc all WHILE doing those other things, it does NOT feel worth it....... and a "job" sounds glamorous and fulfilling and meaningful.... But then I witness a moment where the kids are sweet to each other, a moment when I get two arms wrapped tightly around my neck and an "I love you, mommy", where they squish in my recliner to snuggle with me.... and it IS worth it...... in THAT moment, it's worth it right NOW.... and then I must force myself to believe that my lunatic rants and ravings will be forgotten and they'll just remember how deep my love is for them......... but I have to CHOOSE those thoughts...... it's a choice..... just like staying home with them is a choice......
ReplyDeleteThank you for that awesome comment! One of the most important lessons I have learned in my journey thus far is that LOVE IS A CHOICE. This is true in everything, from our faith to our relationships, and our family. We choose to love each day in little ways and big ways. I read once (probably on some blog somewhere, ha ha) that the most important thing a parent can do is just STAY. At first I was taken aback, but then as I reflected on it, I agreed more and more. It's not always easy and you may make a lot of mistakes along the way, but at least you are there and you stick it out. That says to your family, "you are worth it, and I choose you." Even on the hardest days, this is STILL my choice. In the end, I know that I would never give up a second of it to be single again and praying for my vocation to be fulfilled. That was a whole different kind of miserable ;)
DeleteNailed it, Kim! Despite the fact that I think the producers were spying on our home life here to develop their content... I mean, really, someone ELSE'S kid got his head stuck in the toilet that way?! As you mentioned, I laughed so hard I cried, especially when the husband says "what's wrong?" and she's all, (crying), "no really, I'm fine..." Sometimes we need a Sean Austin to corner us and say, what you do is... (Beyond hard and dirty and dusty and full of bacteria)... important...
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh ha ha! That is hilarious (after the fact, I'm sure) that your kid got his head stuck in the toilet to. You just can't make this stuff up! My son thinks the toothbrush holder is the toilet and for some reason every time you are taking a shower, you must need your phone.
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