A Daddy's Words

As women we often struggle with our own self worth and value. We are inhibited by hurtful and unencouraging voices from our past, or perhaps by the absent words that were never spoken.  Counselors have repeatedly noticed the patterned behavior of women who have unresolved issues with their own father figure constantly entering into one destructive relationship after another in their adulthood.  

Every little girl needs to be treasured, valued, and most importantly told how much she is worthy of true love.  This is ultimately so important coming from her own father; whose role it is to purely love, unconditionally protect, and eternally guide to heaven.  

The realization of the importance of a father's role in encouraging his daughter to be loved for being herself is what led clinical psychologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan to address a public letter not only to his daughter, but to all women who need to hear a Daddy's words. 

Flanagan's letter to his little girl about her future husband harbors the comfort that many women desperately need to hear, by clearly stating that she is "worthy of interest."  She does not need to constantly reinvent herself or agonize over how to be interesting to her male counterparts.  Confidently being herself is all she should have to do to keep the man who loves her interested.  Flanagan reassuringly finishes the letter by signing it, "Your eternally interested guy, Daddy."

This is one little girl who will always know that her Daddy finds her interesting and lovable and worthy.  I cannot imagine that she will ever settle for anything less!  Hopefully this letter speaks to the heart of all women, reminding them or informing them that they are worthy.

A Daddy's Letter to His Little Girl (About Her Future Husband)

Dear Cutie-Pie,

Recently, your mother and I were searching for an answer on Google. Halfway through entering the question, Google returned a list of the most popular searches in the world. Perched at the top of the list was “How to keep him interested.”

It startled me. I scanned several of the countless articles about how to be sexy and sexual, when to bring him a beer versus a sandwich, and the ways to make him feel smart and superior.

And I got angry.

Little One, it is not, has never been, and never will be your job to “keep him interested.”

Little One, your only task is to know deeply in your soul—in that unshakable place that isn’t rattled by rejection and loss and ego—that you are worthy of interest. (If you can remember that everyone else is worthy of interest also, the battle of your life will be mostly won. But that is a letter for another day.)

If you can trust your worth in this way, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the word: you will attract a boy who is both capable of interest and who wants to spend his one life investing all of his interest in you.

Little One, I want to tell you about the boy who doesn’t need to be kept interested, because he knows you are interesting:

I don’t care if he puts his elbows on the dinner table—as long as he puts his eyes on the way your nose scrunches when you smile. And then can’t stop looking.

I don’t care if he can’t play a bit of golf with me—as long as he can play with the children you give him and revel in all the glorious and frustrating ways they are just like you.

I don’t care if he doesn’t follow his wallet—as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.

I don’t care if he is strong—as long as he gives you the space to exercise the strength that is inyour heart.

I couldn’t care less how he votes—as long as he wakes up every morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart.

I don’t care about the color of his skin—as long as he paints the canvas of your lives with brushstrokes of patience, and sacrifice, and vulnerability, and tenderness.

I don’t care if he was raised in this religion or that religion or no religion—as long as he was raised to value the sacred and to know every moment of life, and every moment of life with you, is deeply sacred.

In the end, Little One, if you stumble across a man like that and he and I have nothing else in common, we will have the most important thing in common:

You.

Because in the end, Little One, the only thing you should have to do to “keep him interested” is to be you.

Your eternally interested guy,

Daddy

A Daddy's Letter to His Little Girl